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wRules About Women |
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Rules about women that I've picked up, come across, learned, developed through the years
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wSaturday, March 29, 2003 |
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A little pregnancy humor for those who are/were pregnant:
Your Clothes
-1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
-2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
-3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
The Baby's Name
-1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
-2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
-3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.
Preparing for the Birth
-1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
-2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
-3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Layette
-1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
-2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
-3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries
-1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
-2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
-3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Activities
-1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
-2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
-3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out
-1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
-2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
-3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home
-1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
-2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
-3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
posted by
alpha754293 at 3/29/2003 03:41:00 AM
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wThursday, March 27, 2003 |
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rule #1 - NEVER argue with a pregnant woman (especially if she's in labor). You'll lose.....for sure...
posted by
alpha754293 at 3/27/2003 03:26:00 AM
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[quote]:
when you're laying out your bedroom again to accommodate for a baby...make sure that there's nothing between the crib and the change table.....you'll learn that fast
source: chat session, anonymous
posted by
alpha754293 at 3/27/2003 01:12:00 AM
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wWednesday, March 26, 2003 |
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[quote]:
"oh, btw.... transition is like... k, like a week or two before birth, the baby shifts and goes like head down and all of that, and moves lower... during transition, is basically he moves even lower, signaling he's ready to come out soon... the most comfortable place is on the toilet and the mom feels nauseous, like she's gonna throw up"
Source: from MSN chat, who requested to be anonymous
posted by
alpha754293 at 3/26/2003 11:42:00 PM
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